Chosen passions and purpose

it was one of those days

2006-02-15T21:56:51Z

I spent the day at my post. We'd been checking the progress of some terraforming work along the western sectors. It should have been a typical, quiet if busy day.
What is that expression? "Famous last words?"
Nicely succinct.
Someone thought it would be funny to lock the intercom system to a Terran radio channel. Now, I don't know why anyone would "check into a hotel they can never leave", and after hearing that song repeated half a dozen times in the next 24 hours,
along with references to some Lucy in the sky wearing jewelry, and nonsense lyrics about crying, I don't WANT to know why.
It didn't help that we'd told the media dept. techmaster to take the day off and 'amuse himself.' No,I don't know what possessed me to tell an Explorer that while still leaving him access to our equipment. I did have a bit of a hangover, but it wasn't that bad.
The would-be smugglers who had "borrowed" a shuttle from a relay station the next system over, were a welcome distraction/excuse to go outdoors. We aren't heavily armed on Crossways, for a number of obvious reasons, but they weren't either. Shuttles are what they sound like, short range transportation. They're not meant to carry any significant load.
We stashed them in the basement. The canines took turns watching them. I had to send someone to return the shuttle to the relay site.
THEN, our chef announced that he was going into labor.
Don't. ASK.
He's from a feline based species, so he doesn't require a lot of medical oversight, but a person in that sort of mood, with six inch claws? LOTS of tiptoeing. And supper was dreadful that night. (Look, I never claimed to know how to cater!)

New Year's Reflections

2006-01-15T21:01:58Z

Did the year go as I expected? No.That's half the fun of my job,the things one doesn't expect. Or, conversely, the source of half the trouble.
I've lived on Titan for almost two decades now. The area is anything but predictable. It was expected that I'd be working my "tail off", as some Terrans say; Rulers aren't exempt from the everyday chores or risks.
However,the exact nature of the work? Up in the air--no,not literally.
I had to deal with everything from meteor storms to spacegoing would-be extortionists who thought Crossways was an easy target.They would appear not to understand Kameri too well. Idiots. Oh yes, threaten someone and then take a drink or a meal that came from her stores. Ahh well,their bones in the soil should help add some calcium to the mix.Less expensive,too. Maybe the gardens will have a better yield this spring.
I was happy for most of the time. No consorts/lovers; I don't take anyone from the station crew. None of our visitors appealed to me. I met new friends,including other
worlds' residents. Now that was interesting.I wish I had more time to talk to them, but socializing has to come well after work.
I got to visit Earth briefly. I will say, for any newcomers, their Halloween/Samhain festivities are not to be missed. The winter celebrations are more somber. I suppose that befits the Sleeping Moons.
Would I look back on the year, or is it one I'm glad to see ended?
I'll take both options. There were good and bad times. I rarely waste time with nostalgia, I'll admit.

Muse:Daral
Fandom: Original Character

write a letter to your younger self

2005-12-04T13:03:50Z

Daral;
You won't have the future you think you will.It will be better in some ways, harder in others. Yet this is who you are, and denying reality won't make it any less real.Tell your father's spouse you love her more often. There'll come a time when admissions like that will be too dangerous for you to make overtly. She deserves to know.
Learn to swim. You'll need it after you're of age. If a rival of yours suggests a meeting at a gathering place by the shores, be ready. Be armed.Remember to question the status quo. Your father and your aunt's children have things to teach you, different Caste or not. Listen. Never forget.
Ask the Healers to recheck your contraceptive implant after your journey to Malshek.Don't wait for your semiannual examination.Trust me in this.
You have a good family. Value them for as long as you have them. It won't be indefinitely, and once things change, that path will be closed to you.
If someone tells you that they're a god or goddess, laughing is perhaps not the best response. Skepticism is wise but no need to be tactless.Remind your aunt that you write left-handed, and that that should be taken into account for weapons training.
Laugh.
Explore.
You'll have an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime,to help create a world anew.Make yourself ready for that chance when it comes,and know that the cost will be worthwhile.
Learn to take your pleasures where you can find them. Never mind that others may find you cruel or cold or strange. They needn't live with you.In fact,they won't.
Ask your Terran friend for that cookie recipe they offered you. It'll be a chance for you to get to know them in their everyday lives. Chocolate chips are worth some effort as well.(Avoid pizza.It won't taste good.Some of the ingredients will make you genuinely ill.)
Another note re: the Terrans, they bleed red due to the iron content in their circulatory systems. If you're injured while Earthside, don't allow a doctor of theirs to examine you.

Muse: Daral
Fandom: OC
Word count:340

ariaen @ 2005-11-16T17:41:00

2005-11-16T23:04:00Z

I first came to Earth under the pretense of being an ordinary tourist.We knew by then that the atmosphere and ecology held no lethal surprises for us beyond our ability to overcome.No,of course we're not invulnerable.It's a matter of exercising cautions and hat's called common sense by Terrans.
The United States was where I traveled.I can't say I was impressed at first.Crowded,overbuilt,and polluted was the general image I formed of the cities.Not so very different from ones I'd seen on other worlds that were now being forced to colonize, because they'd wounded their own planets too deeply for them to live upon.
Worse,at least to my mind,was the sense that the occupants didn't care.Their complacency had drawn comments from other Kameri travelers,too.It was far too easy for me to pass as not only Terran but a North American citizen.
Of the people I met,I will admit that the Lawgivers--NYPD,sorry--were alert and cautious while polite to an out-of-town visitor who "asked for directions." The rest...
I pretended to enjoy myself wandering through New York.It wasn't until my curiosity was piqued by a visit to a museum, that I gave any thought to later visits for my own enjoyment.
A painting hung in the lobby showed what I know was Venice.I stopped to look at it more closely.Soft but attractive colors and a love of beauty,I thought,and of the place being depicted.
I had been on the verge of going back to Crossways.The painting and the rest of the museum's displays made me hesitate.I had been trying to understand how Terrans think and not done well.Here I found something that I could hold in common with them.
It helped.
~~I hadn't realized I was homesick as well as confused,until I saw that.Titan is my home now,but it hadn't felt as if it were,I'd only been assigned for a few months.~~
I make a habit now of visiting such places,when I have time and the opportunity.

Muse:Daral
Fandom:OC
Word count:325

space travel--random trivia

2005-11-03T18:14:52Z

The "ships" we use wouldn't be likely to recognized as such.We don't employ mechanical transport for the interstellar voyage,but Sai'lenar or "live ships",creatures adapted to survive in vacuum and to interface with other-species pilots,crew,and passengers. The voyage from Procyon's system to Titan only took two weeks. Could have been shortened,yes, however the directors felt that that would be better not done.
We all had some(reversible)changes made to our biochemistry to allow us to survive on Titan.Uriel's atmosphere is a standard mix of oxygen,nitrogen,and other elements,that one would see on a planet where carbon-based organisms were the first to evolve.
Titan barely has an atmosphere. Gravity's lighter,which is an advantage,but solar radiation and temperatures are of a concern.
Some tolerate the modifications better than others.It does take the body some time to adjust.I've heard Terrans compare it to surgery; even a minor procedure requires recovery time.

I'd been off planet a time or two.It didn't prepare me for a longer voyage;that's not a complaint,mind.
What do the live "ships" gain from this,someone wanted to know.(Yes,they're self-aware and intelligent.No,they're not forced to provide us or any race with transportation.When people try to ask that question,the answer comes back that they need the passengers or crew.Sustenance,of a kind.They can feed off heat or what we call bioelectricity. Contact also seems to be an appetite of theirs,physical or empathic in some instances.
I know they sometimes ask Kameri to allow our memories to be altered after dealings with them,but that they don't do so against a person's refusal.)

ariaen @ 2005-10-30T12:31:00

2005-10-30T17:39:41Z

The enclosures at Titan have windows. The material is transparent but almost unbreakable, and warm to touch.
Unlike Crossways' Stationmaster.
She rests her hands flat on the surface. A wavering image of herself flickers.She notes it;neither thin nor fat,slight curves of a woman's figure under loose clothing, dark red,shoulder-length hair, pale skin, hazel eyes.The surface image,what she sees every day. She's young,feminine, neither a raving beauty nor unattractive. Confidence is in her posture and body language.
Daral looks outward,at the stars that seem almost within arm's length.She's familiar with how reality mixes illusion and truth depending on how one looks at it.
Some of her people don't concern themselves with that. They grow up content,their path,clear to them. They find a gift or vocation to embrace from the earliest times.

She wasn't one of those, for good or bad. Her father encouraged her from her first tentative steps. He was endlessly patient and loving with a cranky, insomniac child whose favorite word was "why" and second favorite word,"how?" He allowed her to learn whatever she could in safety.
Studies eased the restlessness, but as time went by, she felt it return. Knowledge ands skills were gratifying. They only half settled the need. She wanted to do, a scholar's or researcher's work wasn't what called to her.
Then, one day, her other parent came to visit them.
Mage-bound on Daral's world, like Rulers, don't marry. Her biological mother had given her to her father and left,once the pregnancy was completed.Daral had corresponded with her a few times. The visit was unexpected.
The woman's arrogance in a face to face meeting had brought out the sharp edge of Daral's temper. She rarely let that show. High-ranking or not,her mother's speaking to Daral's father's wife as if she were a servant instead of an equal,was unwise.So too was the 'joking' attempt to levy a spell at Daral's stepmother, abort at the last minute or not.
Her abilities failed to impress the young girl.
They didn't prevent Daral from stepping in front of the Archmage to block her from a second try, or telling the woman that she had instantly worn out every shred of patience this daughter of hers had to give.
"Leave my home."
She used words, and resolve; a physical blow would do little good,despite the urge to hear the woman cry out in pain.
"All your magic, and you can't gain the one thing they do have.You don't even trust yourself." The offhand contempt in Daral's voice made her biological mother gasp.

"If you hurt one of my family again, I will break you."

Challenge. If the woman didn't back down, they were going to fight.Daral wouldn't be treated as less than others, or commanded by those who were weaker,who had lost her respect.
Her sudden change in attitude--or was it sudden? caught everyone off-guard. She'd looked at the woman's face and seen the difference reflected back at her.A mirror.Twisted, or only different?
One is never the same from one moment to the next. She looks, she remembers how she is now, for later times when she may not have a mirror that shows truth at all. The station and their accomplishments reflect struggle, hope, imagination, brilliant success and sometimes lethal failure. She is still there. Always.

ariaen @ 2005-10-25T11:44:00

2005-10-25T16:14:52Z

I don't feel shame.I don't make excuses for what I've done in the past.It's a place we can't revisit. Emotions or words alone rarely mend anything.If I choose to do something,I'm not going to backpedal later.
When I was seventeen,I knew I meant to elect a life-path that had as its basic rule 'succeed by whatever means.'I learned my lessons.My teacher,an older Province ruler who had held his place for three centuries,beat me nearly to death the first time I threw a challenge at him in the open. He never apologized,nor did I expect it of him.I survived and felt no shame for losing.
I remember that evening.There are still scars on my upper arm and one side.I gave him a few of his own.What I didn't do was let fear stop me from the attempt or from facing my own hungers.
Dishonesty,hypocrisy,those might be cause for shame among Kameri or among Rulers.I don't practice the latter.The former I save for use against declared rivals.
I took men and sometimes women to my bed who had something I needed.They were left as easily as I took them.I made no promises.I don't deal in "assumed" guarantees.I lied,stole other people's secrets,learned the subtler tricks to undermine a rival's position.I amused my mentor by early success,sufficiently that he allowed me access to his treasury.He knew that some of the monies I took would be used in my next effort against him,but that is Ruler's law too.If you are fit for a place, you can hold it against all comers.
When I first took a ranking position from the one who'd had it,she accepted the defeat with calm.Her bedmate, a young man closer to my age,did not.He accosted me in public several times to lecture me as to my cruelty.
I ignored him once I had confirmed that he was acting on his own whim, not as her Second.A child's or lover's tantrums were no business of mine,until he followed me into the lab complex where she had previously been in charge. He attempted to break into a secured area in such a way that he endangered the safety of everyone else in the area.
I ordered him removed, and left an order that should he try to reenter the building, whether or not I was present, the guards were authorized lethal force.

I heard some time later that he had died.I never asked as to the circumstances.Perhaps I should have cared,but I did not.

Shame has nothing to do with the likes of me.

Muse: Daral
Fandom: Original Fiction
Word count:423

ariaen @ 2005-10-08T11:24:00

2005-10-08T16:13:55Z

There are seven main castes, or groups, in our society. They aren't hereditary. My father was a Seeker; I am not. I chose, 'elected' to take a different way. One can only choose for oneself, not for any other, no matter what relationships exist between them. It's more to do with the purpose they see themselves as meant to follow, than 'rank'. Only two of the four castes have anything like a 'command structure' for everyone who belongs to them.
"Knowledge. Power. Spirit. Order. Creation.Magic. Dissent." Simplifications, I know.
The Seekers' caste is that of knowledge. Exploration, scholarship, new grounds and theories.People who love learning and study for its own sake. Men or women who rejoice in new discoveries, without the need to use that discovery for any purpose.

The Ruling Caste. Leaders, administrators, those that command, whether it's a city,province,army, or one of the government's departments. No, the other Castes don't elect leaders from within the general populace, nor are votes taken. If you need power, or hunger for it, look to this caste.

Spirit. The Founders, or sometimes called Endure. Those that set families and, compassion? Love? others, before themselves. Their life's work is in caring; parents, healers, priests of the few religious sects we have on Uriel,cooks or gardeners, farmers, therapists, courtesans, those that tend the land or the people's needs.

Order. The Lawgivers, what you would call police or sometimes military on Earth.Judges, guards, advocates, those that protect and uphold the laws. Strength, resolute, ruthless when needed, seeking justice. Peace.

Creation.The arts, crafts, songs and poems and dance, all forms of creativity. Any and all who wish to spend their lives in pursuits are among this Caste's membership.

Magic. We've known for centuries that there are powers, and worlds, that can't be seen by ordinary sight. Their gifts can't be weighed or measured, but that makes them no less real.Their numbers are fewer than that of the other caste groups. They keep to themselves, preferring the company of other Mages. However, they are not a secret.

Dissent.
This is the point when I have to explain more than the once. The castes are not about a particular career or work. We don't have inherited positions as such. Jobs are meant for people, not always the opposite.
Nor does everyone fit the molds gently. Some look for trouble, pain to inflict or be inflicted. Some--choose to die; to turn away from the world, if only in their own minds. No, we don't let them take innocent lives. They exist in here-and-now. For them, change and rebellion are meat and drink. Chaos. The knife's edge to dance forever.

We've only one word in our language for forcibly changing a person's mind / change their behaviors, to suit one's own wishes. It's not a mistranslation that that is also the word for rape.

ariaen @ 2005-10-04T09:15:00

2005-10-04T13:19:26Z

The colony worlds such as Titan, Mars, and Iapetus are recent developments. They don't allow anyone to work or settle a new world who isn't young, in good health. Additionally, there are immigration limits to prevent a skyrocketing population that the world can't support.
My people's definitions of 'health' would baffle most Terrans;mutual confusion. I spent my first twenty years living on Uriel, our own original world. My father still resides in the capital city. The capital's at a high elevation over sea level.The air's thinner, and cold.I've never found it uncomfortable.Outworld visitors insist people shouldn't thrive in our climate. Of course, they don't know aaalll our tricks.

Kameri have a life expectancy of 3000-3100 years. We reach 'puberty' at somewhere between thirty and forty years of age, and adulthood perhaps five years after that.Vorav, live no longer than 150 years, if pureblooded, and for a number of reasons they tend to avoid intermarrying.

There are four major continents on Uriel. Three of these are inhabited by the sentients. The fourth, to the south, is tectonically unstable. Volcanic activity persists.The Vorav originated on the eastern continent. Some have emigrated by water, to the one which the Kameri called home, over the centuries. Neither species is more numerous than the other. Balance has held for that, thus far. They also claim magical abilities for themselves outside of the normal Caste skills. This I haven't experienced firsthand.

The third race? If they have a name for themselves, we haven't been privileged to know it as yet. They reside in the northernmost regions of Uriel.A few of us have seen and spoken to them when they ventured south. Such visits are quite rare. I've met one, but prior to that, their last recorded contact with the younger races was before my father was born.
They live in the higher altitudes, in cities or settlements carved out in mountain caves.Their bodies are scaled, green or dark red in color, and winged. Some compare them to the dragons of legend. However, the Fire Kings, as some describe them, are bipedal and capable of speech. No medic of ours has ever been allowed to examine them, so it's unclear if they are warmblooded or true reptiles.

ariaen @ 2005-10-04T08:04:00

2005-10-04T12:32:49Z

The capital city of the western continent is where I was born.I lived with my father. Mother was one of the Mage caste. As is custom, she relinquished me to him as soon as they knew I was healthy, after my birth.I write to her sometimes. I've only seen her face to face the one day.
We thought at one point that my half-brother, one of father's sons, might be meant to follow that sept. I think Father was a little relieved that he didn't.I was happy with things as they were. Still, I know; change is part of the inevitable.

Ariaen, the city, is a place that was created,not built; some crystal/rock and metal structures, but most of it is organic. The 'trees' and 'parks' offworld visitors see are homes, places to work, transportation or access routes. It confuses newcomers who are from more artificially constructed regions.They can't (or won't) understand why the land isn't cleared.

Kameri, my father's species and mine, are humanoid. I'm told that there is no visible difference between one of us and a Terran of the same gender. Never having seen one of them unclothed, ah well, I'll accept people's word on that, thank you! A few of us have minor variations such as six-fingered hands or eyes that are differently colored, which I understand to exist in Earth's population, but as a sign of genetic defect for them.

Uriel has two other sentient races of inhabitants. The Vorav, also humanoid, are found to the north and east. They are nomadic, where the Kameri tend to be city-dwelling. The races can interbreed. (That's unusual; their culture doesn't encourage exogamy.)

The third? They have no name they've wanted to offer up to us.

'Castes' aren't families or clans. I should begin by explanation of what they are, not what they aren't.